I picture days as colours. The calender in my head resembles an erratic rainbow. “For example ?” you ask me. Well, happy days are pastels, pinks.
This one was violent streaks of red and purple. Eyes blind, mind a landmine. Chest drowning, breathing no longer unconscious.
My friend quietly watched me. Instinctively she knew, i was in a place far beyond her reasonable reach. Beyond calming words.
Slowly she pushed this creamy paper tile towards me, along with a fine black pen. “Lets tangle Arohi” is all she ventured.
“Oh well why not” i thought. Drawing has never been my forte, hence the usual reluctance. But my raging mind wished to throw caution to the winds.
Under her expert and able guidance i began. Every tortured thought of mine inked as a swirl, a line, a curl. I laboured on for an hour…or was it two…or was it a decade ? Time stopped. The wonderfully textured creamy tile slowly filled up. And my head gradually emptied.
At last I placed my pen down, exhausted, yet to my utter fascination, at peace. I looked at myself as if in a looking glass. My breathing waved a merry little hand at me and my mind a fluffy cotton cloud. And then i finally looked at my tangled tile.
If my mind was a canvas, this is how my turbulent thoughts would be sketched across.
It isnt called zen-tangle for nothing !! To have my flaming mad mind’s voices transformed into such an abstract beautiful artform. To be left with contentment and pleasurable emptiness. To have my tangles….detangled
For the first time, my day was not just a single colour. It now had a few curls and swirls as embellishments. And it was shaded…. like water added to the purple…like white added to the red…it washed up as a paler, softer version of its initial self.
I have since then tangled a number of times with my savior and friend (a qualified zen tangle teacher). And every tile is now a story, a moment, an experience. Every tile a reminder of how my most enraged thoughts can be channelised into something exquisite.
I have found the therapy for my soul. I hope you find yours ❤️